Ladies, this one is for you. More often than not, a lot of women who lift catch a lot of shit from condescending pricks and other, more insecure, females. Now, I know that I have short hair so people look at me and think “obvious lesbian”; but no matter what your sexuality is, no matter if you do Cross Fit, Olympic lifting, Physique, Body Building, Bikini, or like me you’re just a multi-functional athlete who likes to pay their dues at the iron sanctuary for therapy. Whether you’re new to the game or you’ve been lifting since you came out of the womb…this is for you. And for those of you who are going to read this and get offended at some of the things I’m about to say…GOOD! Read up and get educated because I’m speaking to you homie.
“A girl isn’t supposed to…..”
You can complete the sentence any way you want and it will still sound douchey and condescending as hell. This is easily my favorite pet peeve comment that I receive. I love when people see me at the gym and tell me things like “A girl shouldn’t be lifting that much” or “A girl shouldn’t have that much muscle…it doesn’t look good.” and the list goes on and on. I’d honestly be interested to hear your stories on this particular phrase.
Look, if you’re the type of guy (or girl) who likes a girl who doesn’t work out…goes out to the club to shake her ass every weekend…and has no honest discipline; then that’s all you. To each their own. But don’t tell me what a girl is or isn’t supposed to do or look like. My vagina didn’t come with a terms and conditions manual. So slow your roll. And if you’re a woman who is trying to discourage another woman from bettering herself and chasing gains, then shame on you.
Furthermore, don’t complain about the obesity problem in America if you’re going to discourage people, not just women, from pursuing their fitness goals. Because when you do that, you become part of the problem and not part of the solution.
“Need a Spot Honey?”
Look, some people go to the gym to pick up a date…I am not one of those people. If you’re a dude, please don’t go up to a female asking her if she wants a spot. Especially if she’s on the squat rack. That shit isn’t cute…it’s weird. Nothing is more condescending than a man offering to help you with your weights. Listen bitch, I’ll squat my weight and I’ll go lift yours. And from one lesbian to another…don’t…just don’t do it.
Now, if you want to come up to me and have a genuine conversation or you have a genuine compliment to give me, then feel free. Otherwise, don’t speak to me. I’m listening to my trap music…whippin’ and flippin’ bricks in my head. Or I’m listening to heavy metal, thinking about killing terrorists and such.
Furthermore, trying to start a conversation by trying to give me pointers isn’t slick. Unless you’re a certified personal trainer (not an online shammer) or you look like you know what you’re doing…please don’t come up to me and begin to be condescending with your “tips”. If I needed help, I’d ask. I’m sure my lady-brain can figure it out.
And….dear God….if you are in a swinger group….just don’t. Fun side-story here. I was at a gym, that I regret ever joining (won’t list it here for legality reasons), when I was approached by a man in his 50s. He began to tell me about his female friend who was really into brunette’s with blue eyes that like to work out. I kindly began to decline as I was, and still am, in a committed relationship. He began his closing argument with “My wife and I love to get together with her and her husband”.
I shit you not when I say that time began to stand still. Much like yours probably is now. That conversation took the hardest left turn I’ve ever felt. This dude, who seems nice, who is also more than twice my age…was asking me to….oh…oh no. Not wanting to wreck this dude’s confidence, I kindly declined and told him that wasn’t my cup of tea. Needless to say my workout ended immediately. I told my parents later that day…Mom laughed hysterically, and Dad asked why I didn’t execute a throat punch and clarified that he would have bailed me out of jail.
Moral of the story: if you’re into some weird taboo shit, then advertise that in a support group…not to a (then 19-year-old) at the gym.
Back to the list now….
Dudes, and girls, who date girls that lift
I have plenty of guy friends who date, and are into, girls that lift. And I can’t tell you how many times they’re put down about that by other dudes and some chicks. They say things like “you really want to date a girl who could bench press you dude?” or they start with the she-looks-like-a-man gay jokes.
Let me stop you right there. You’re going to put someone down because they’re into a woman who strives to better herself? Who has the discipline to go to the gym, eat right, and live a healthy lifestyle? Because he’s into that? And you’re knocking him because he’s not into a girl who has no self-esteem, who posts ass-on-the-sink pictures, and who goes and drinks herself silly every chance she gets? I’m sorry but some dudes (and girls) are into having a grown relationship. You know, the kind without any drama. The kind where you can trust each other. The kind where you are able to connect with that other person because you share common goals and interests?
And please, for the love of God, if you’re in the type of relationship where your girl is basically a human backpack that follows your around the gym, doesn’t really even work out (except for maybe half ass-ing the elliptical or stair stepper) and all she does is snap chat your workouts…please don’t try to include yourself in this category. Because I guarantee you she’s the girl posting ass pictures that you get mad at.
To my ladies…
If you’re a woman that lifts, that does bikini, Cross Fit, physique, body building, etc. whether you’re a beginner or you’ve been doing it for years…do you boo boo. Don’t let anybody male or female try to discourage you or knock you down. Set your goals, have the discipline to crush them, clap for your damn self, and carry on being a bad ass.
Furthermore, please don’t surround yourself with negative and opposite minded individuals. You can’t do that and then expect to progress in anything. Keep on trucking along…all aboard the gain train!