I’ve been finding myself listening to a lot of podcasts lately. In particular, a podcast by the name of “The MFCEO project” by Andy Frisella, the CEO of 1st Phorm supplements. And I highly recommend that shit. The first one I listened to in particular was called “Millennial Mentality” in which Andy gives his take on the Simon Sinek video discussing millennials in the work place. And it is an hour and eighteen minutes of cold-hard throat punching truth. So if you get offended easily, just don’t listen to it…in fact, if you get offended easily you may want to exit this blog all together right now to save your feelings.
Now, back to the meat and potatoes of this whole thing — Millennials. A lot of people from older generations enjoy bashing millennials and blaming them for their behavior. This is correct for a percentage of their behaviors and mannerisms. But one point Andy makes is that it truly boils down to failed parenting strategies that landed this kids where they are. And I have to agree 100% with him. I whole-heartedly blame the parents in this situation when it comes to the “stereo typical” millennial mentality and behavior. You know, the self-righteous, lazy, entitled, overly-offended and all around cry baby attitudes. If you’re a millennial reading this and you’re getting pissed off, saying “I’m not like that!” it’s okay. I’m not talking about you. Because if you’re like me, you get pissed at your own generation for how they act and how they do things. And, if you’re a parent and you’re about to tell me that I don’t understand because I’m not a parent — slow your roll. I grew up with your little human disasters so I understand just fine.
Idealism v.s. Realism
The biggest failed parenting strategy, by far is the Idealism strategy. You know what I’m talking about. The parents who would rather try to “talk it out” with their disobedient six year old instead of disciplining him. The parents who try to be “BFF’s” with their teenager instead of being the parent and the authority first. The church soccer leagues that present trophies to the losers so they don’t feel left out. The parents who paint this innocent, beautiful picture of the world and tell their kid it’s all peace and love and unicorns and rainbows. The parents who coddle their children until their well into their 20’s and don’t teach them a mother fucking thing about how to be self sufficient. If you’re a parent reading this and getting offended, good, because I’m talking directly to you. If you’re a millennial and this is how mommy and daddy raised you….they failed you. Because when you come out into the real world, life is going to take a steaming pile on your chest.
My parents were realists. And I absolutely love them for that. They didn’t take my imagination away from me. In fact, they let me express myself very well through art, music, and sports. People these days look at realist parents as bad and cruel. But the fact of the matter is, these types of parents are setting their kids up for success…and their kid is going run circles around yours and probably stomp on their throats when they grow up and go out into the real world. One thing I learned from my mom and dad was that you have to work your balls off and then some to get what you want in life. My parents, at times, worked multiple jobs to provide for me and my brothers. We always had what we needed. And when we would complain about them working so much they’d look at us and say “Do you like to eat? Do you like having new cleats every season? Do you enjoy not living on the street? Guess what, you have to have money for all that shit”. And we didn’t cry that mommy and daddy were being mean, we took a step back, shut our mouths and learned a thing or two. I was notorious for asking “what if” questions. My dad would get fed up and finally say “what if pigs flew out my ass? I know what a perfect world would look like, but ‘what if’ isn’t going to pay my bills”. Again, another lesson I learned that some other shit head didn’t because their parents are pussies.
Being able to survive on my own is not something I owe to the public school system or to the media. Being self sufficient is something I owe to my parents for teaching me. My dad taught me things like changing a tire, changing oil, fixing things around the house, and how to take care of the things I owned and they would take care of me. My mom taught me all about taxes, balancing a budget, applying for a loan, etc. I learned from them how to survive on my own, the value of a dollar, and how to work my ass off for what I wanted.
Most parents don’t do this anymore. And that’s why I have 24 year old friends asking me what a deductible is on their car insurance. Now if you’re a parent and you actually teach your kid a thing or two, I am not speaking to you so don’t get your panties in a wad. I’m not saying that your eight year old should know how to balance a checkbook…but that fucker should know how to do laundry and contribute around the house. Parents not making their kids do chores is by far the biggest load of horse shit I have seen. “Well Dr. Oz said…..” I don’t give a shit. You people get all your information off the internet. I did chores as a kid and I am doing just fine. As your kid gets older you need to be teaching them more and more about how to survive on their own. Stop relying on the school system to teach them this shit. And no, they’re not going to become an adult and magically figure this shit out either. And procrastinating on teaching them these things is only going to hurt them in the long run.
I went to school and serve in the military with tons of kids whose parents taught them nothing about being out on their own. And the fact of the matter is, these kids resent their parents all the more for it. And these are the types of kids who look at me, 21 years old, paying all my own bills, and getting ready to purchase my first house and say “must be nice”. Yeah, it is nice to grow up and be taught how to be a functional and successful member of society junior.
Don’t look at young adults like me and ever have the audacity to chalk my success up to “good luck” or having things handed to me. Magic doesn’t exist. Success doesn’t just show up one day, you have to work for it. I learned that as a child and it festered within me. I’m so successful because I am always hungry for more and I always work harder and harder. Whether it be my career in the military, my fitness, my relationship, my education, whatever. And I owe all of it to the fact that my parents actually taught me shit.
Stop trying to be their friend…
Growing up, I was a little shit. More particularly, I wanted things I couldn’t have and would try to find loopholes. I would go to a friends house, and their parents would drive us to the mall and leave us there for a few hours. Stuff like that. I got into a lot of trouble between the ages of twelve and fifteen. And when I would bitch about my friends parents my mom would look at me and say “Her mom is trying to be her best friend, not her mother…I’m your mother first. You’ll thank me when she’s strung out and pregnant and you’re not”.
Sure enough, my mom was absolutely correct. Half of the kids I went to school with whose parents treated them like friends are either in jail, on drugs, dead, or pregnant and broke. I’m not saying you shouldn’t be friends with your kids…but be their parents first. Trust and believe when I say that they will thank you for it in the long run. Me and my parents are at the point now where we are best friends, but I still look to them for advise and comfort.
Furthermore, participation trophies. I recommend listening to what Andy Friesella thinks about this strategy. But I will touch on this very briefly. I never received a participation trophy until I moved to NC when I was almost ten years-old. And I was genuinely confused by it. My team had lost…but we were still getting a trophy? I already had it programmed into my head that if you wanted reward, you had to win first. I was born and raised with he mentality that it pays to be a winner. I was also taught how to lose gracefully and how to cut my losses and turn them into lessons. The kids who weren’t taught that and were given participation trophies their whole life and taught that they were the best human on Earth, they don’t know how to compete. Why compete when you’ll get something anyway? Competition breeds growth, I firmly believe in that. So by telling little Johnny that he’s the most special human being on the face of the planet and by feeding him reward for not doing anything, you’re making it easier for people like me to absolutely destroy him when it comes to competing in real life. I’m talking about jobs, promotions, success in general. And eventually this breeds the attitude that most millennials have where they feel they’re entitled to something they haven’t earned just because they showed up and were taught they were special and awesome. And when little Johnny finds out that he isn’t special and that nobody fucking cares who he is, he becomes part of the growing depression statistic in adults 25 and under.
Millennials, I’m speaking to you now….
Now, I’ve done a lot of parent-bashing here so I am going to turn my attention to my fellow millennials. Because sometimes the parents aren’t always to blame. It could be the media…it could be the culture…however, only we can control our own actions. Try proving me wrong on that statement, I’d love to hear what you have to say.
You are a product of your own environment…but to say you can’t learn or you can’t change is absolute bull-shit. You just don’t want to. I can blame your parents for not teaching you a damn thing, but I can blame you for being a lazy piece of shit and not wanting to work hard or to try and learn anything. Being lazy is your own fucking fault, I don’t care what you say. You can’t go back and re-write your childhood, but you can write your adulthood and learn the shit you need to know to be successful.
Stop thinking you’re entitled to anything for free. Think of how arrogant you sound…you think you deserve something that others had to bust their asses to get just because you’re you? I think not. Work for what you want…nothing in life comes free. If you’re not willing to compete or to work until your bones are tired…you don’t want it as bad as you claim to. And that’s a fact.
Stop wallowing in self pity all the damn time. Stop posting on social media constantly about how nothing ever goes your way, or how upset or offended you are about something. Nobody fucking cares. Period. Your friends are going to like and comment and you’re going to get attention and then it turns into just that…you will over-react and create problems in your head just to seek attention. And get confused as to why nobody really wants to associate themselves with you. Let your silence speak volumes. If you’re suffering, suffer in silence. And when you finally jump that obstacle, you will have a victory to share with everyone.
I don’t care if you’re a millennial…or someone who has raised a millennial. If you disagree with any of what I have said, please feel free to engage me in debate. And when I say engage me in a debate, I mean have an intelligent conversation, not spew insults back and forth and get nowhere. I understand that I am extremely blunt and it might hurt some of the fragile souls reading this…but don’t think that I can’t engage in an educational debate. With that, I will end this rant. Thanks for reading!
Some Good Sources:
“The MFCEO Project” Podcast