An Open Letter to the Girl Who Has/Wants Muscles…

Dear wonder-woman,

If you’re reading this, it’s because you have made the mental choice that you want muscles. Or you have decided to do more in the gym than hang out with your girls and socialize. You have set a goal, and that goal includes gains, whether physically or performance-based. Maybe both. You may or may not have committed to this decision; and I hope this letter either helps you to commit, or it at least makes the fire within you grow. You are the type of person who wants more from their body. Your Christmas list probably includes protein, BCAA’s, deltoids, and probably some quads. You love training and fitness deep into your soul. That barbell is a part of you, and your day doesn’t quite seem complete when you aren’t lifting heavy shit.

But wonder-woman, please do not be fooled. There will be a lot of adversity; both inner and outer. You are going to deal with a lot of shit on your journey. But I want you to keep some things in mind…

People WILL stare at you

And I don’t mean that they will stare to admire you. You will have dudes looking at you sideways. Some of them will gawk at you, and probably size you up. Just remember, it takes a real man to be able to date a woman that can match him in work-ethic. Other girls at the gym will look down their noses at you like your muscles are an abnormality. They’ll whisper to their friends as they walk on the treadmill or curl their 10lb weights.

Let them talk. And feel proud that you are so captivating that they feel the need to lower their work-ethic to watch you. Keep doing your thing honey. Let people stare at you. And let that anger fuel you, let those gains speak for themselves.

Some of your friends won’t understand

If you’re like me, you have friends of all sorts. Crossfitters, yogi’s, runners, bikini girls, sports athletes, or perhaps friends who just aren’t fit. Not all of them will understand. They won’t share your passion. Nor will they understand why you’re doing this. When you share in your thoughts of dysphoria, they’ll ask why you do this to yourself. They’ll brush your passion for this off like it’s nothing. Sometimes, this journey gets lonely…

You’re in this for you

Don’t ever train to please someone else. You’re on this journey for you and only you. Train to perform, eat to perform. Your looks will come along with it. Nobody is going to help you bust your PR’s but you. This is your body. Don’t make this about anybody else, because if you do then in the end the celebration won’t be about you.

You will always want more…You’ll always compare

You’ll spend hours flexing at yourself before you step into the shower. You’re going to go onto the Instagram page of your “fitspiration” and gawk over their delts, their triceps, their calves. You will look at them and look at you…back to them…back to you. The dysphoria will set in. And you’ll go mad.

Don’t do this to yourself. You are not them and they are not you. You’re on the same journey, just at a different exit. You will get there. Be patient. Trust the process and don’t cut corners.

You’ll bust a PR, or you’ll reach a new checkpoint. You’ll notice your growth. But you won’t be satisfied for long before you want more. You’ll always want more and more. And that’s okay, but don’t obsess over this. Don’t become so consumed in this that you forget to live life.

Stop comparing or you’ll never be happy. Stop obsessing over more and celebrate the little victories.

And no matter what…

Just know that you are beautiful. People will tell you thing like “you look like a man”. And if you have short hair and/or tattoos, forget about it. The insults will come and so will the criticism.

But just know that your muscles don’t make you masculine. They make you strong and they make you unique. And being unique is the most beautiful thing in the world. Keep doing you and know that you are not alone on this journey. There are many others of us out here. And please know that you will find someone, and several others who appreciate you, I appreciate you, and I appreciate your work-ethic and your drive to do this. Don’t forget to appreciate yourself along the way. Now, stop reading this and go chase those gains!


A fellow Swolemate

2 thoughts on “An Open Letter to the Girl Who Has/Wants Muscles…

  1. This truly hits home ❤ great read and needed it. Competition time is close and I was losing my drive for multiple reasons listed.. thank you


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